Well it has been awhile since I have written, but I am back AND in a new city. We now live in Ann Arbor, MI. Talk about a crazy experience...moving! No idea how much that rocked our world, but seem to be doing better now. The move was especially difficult for my son. With adoptive kids transitions can be hard, new classroom, change in sports group...so you can imagine how much the move rocked my kiddo. Some people wonder why we left Colorado. One of the reasons is my husband got recruited by the University of Michigan. However, we didn't look at this move lightly. One of the reasons we said yes is after researching the Ann Arbor area we found it more diverse than Fort Collins.
When you have an adopted child of a different race it is important, to me, to live in a diverse area. My son is Korean and I find it so important for him to live where there are other Asians. To help with his identity and mirroring. I had recently taken a series of webinars about raising my adopted son. One of the comments she made I found so powerful as a parent and what I can do for my child. Dr. Chaitra Wirta-Leiker, Beyond Words Psychological Services, LLC
"I'm thinking about getting a tattoo that reads, "There is NO substitute for racial mirrors & diversity!" It will probably have to be on my forehead. Over & over again, at nearly every transracial adoption training I facilitate, the question arises: "What if we don't live in a diverse area? How can we help our transracially adopted child have a healthy & positive racial identity?" My answer is always the same: "Without racial mirroring & diversity, it is not possible to have a healthy & positive racial identity." I understand why this frustrates parents. I recognize how much work it requires to find new jobs, a new home, and uproot your family to move to a diverse community. I can empathize with the wish for some magical alternative solution. But there isn't one. This is one of those rare situations where there is ONE RIGHT ANSWER. Racial mirroring isn’t the only necessity for developing a positive racial identity, but without it, a positive racial identity is not possible. This is not just my personal belief, anecdotal sharing about client experiences, or the consensus of adult transracial adoptees - it is all of these things plus decades of psychological research on racial identity development that proves this to be true. If you as a transracially adoptive parent choose to ignore this fact by continuing to search for magical alternative solutions, your child will be the one to pay the price."
Those words were so powerful to me. I also recommend listening to her webinars, they are fantastic! My goal going forward with this blog is to continue talking about our life but more importantly to really dive deep into being a parent of an adoptive parent. I will also share our adventures, recipes and things that we love! I had found the adoption community very small and always looking for people close to me who you can lean on.
