Looking Back

Recently a good friend of mine shared this post on Facebook that someone had written about waiting for adoption. It literally brought back so many memories. Waiting for my son to come home was the hardest thing in my life, at this time, to deal with.

Waiting Adoptive Moms
One exert from the article was especially close to home:
She isn’t sure they’re coming home.
This is the part of the adoption process that makes you want to crawl under your bed and not come out until it’s safe again. This is the part that tears you soul in two. This is the part that you wake up in the morning remembering and going to bed at night fearing. Because there are no guarantees. And that’s hard. No, not hard. It’s gut-wrenching. It’s not just the fear that your child might die before having a family, it’s that this child you love with every ounce of your being might grow up in an orphanage, on the streets, or worse.

I don't live life with many regrets. However, I do regret how little time I spent at home with my son when we first came home. I only had 4 weeks. Looking back I really should have taken off 2 to 3 months. I know going forward if I adopt again that will be the case and the consequences of taking that time off I am completely ready to deal with and the outlook.

For anyone adopting this is a fantastic read.  While it was very difficult I don't regret anything as I have the most amazing son who I love more than myself.  However, I don't know if I was prepared for the reality of the wait, especially the political mess we endured. Looking back it would have been helpful to probably talk with someone professional as while friends are good I am not sure it helped.

Ghetto Sangria!

My family and I recently went to Rockygrass over the weekend in Lyons and discovered something amazing....ghetto sangria! Seriously this stuff is sooooo good!

Grab your Boxed Wine (always a necessity camping). I am a fan of Bota Box!
Grab a six pack of San Pellegrino Aranciata Rossa!!! It has to be! Watch out not to get the orange kind!
Then add ice and mix about half and half or to taste! So yummy!

Triathlon Momma!

I am blogging my training journey for my 2nd Triathlon as working full time, raising a toddler, quality time with friends and family and allowing my husband time to workout too it makes it hard with squeezing in training. One thing I feel fortunate for is a lot of my friends compete and scheduling time with them usually involves swimming, biking or running!  I need to get comfortable with putting my son in gym daycare as it is there and an hour a part will do us both good I am sure on the weekends! I am definitely a happier momma when I can workout.

I am training for the Iron Girl Triathlon August 24th and every training program I see requires you to train 6 days a week. That is impossible. I work 50+ hours a week, have a toddler and a husband who likes to exercise and I kind of like to also spend quality time with my family. I have started my first week and here is what I have scheduled. I am hoping if my less than 6 day a week routine (this week is a good week) is successful for me it might help someone else down the road. My swim coach told me that it is proving better to do short 10 minute workouts broken up than 30 minutes. Do what you can, when you can. Why? He stated it was because your heart rate is jump starting again.

WEEK ONE:

Monday - Holiday
Tuesday - Master Swim, 2000m
Wednesday - Husbands gym day...off.
Thursday - Core workout
Friday - Run
Saturday - Bike 15 miles minimum
Sunday - Swim

Thai Lettuce Wraps

I had a crazy day, make that crazy few months at work and I am literally at 10-14 hours a day...today being especially long. I had to get in a little ride for training for my triathlon (my first 30 minute break of the day) and my husband made this wonderful meal. Now I went shopping and put the recipe in front of him but he did it! So delish! I cannot even tell you and my husband enjoyed it too! However, tempeh is such an easy way to convert any man to eating no meat as it totally has similar texture and fills you up!  

 

Thai Lettuce Wraps...new family tradition! 

 

Sauce

• ¼ cup lime juice
• ¼ cup sugar
• 2 Tbs. low-sodium soy sauce
• 1 Tbs. rice vinegar
• ½ tsp. light brown sugar

Filling

• 2 8-oz. pkg. plain tempeh, broken into chunks
• 1 Tbs. vegetable oil
• 2 Tbs. minced fresh ginger
• 2 cloves garlic, minced (2 tsp.)
• 1 cup low-sodium vegetable broth
• ¼ cup chopped fresh mint
• ¼ cup lime juice
• 2 Tbs. chopped shallots
• 1 Tbs. low-sodium soy sauce
• 1 Tbs. rice vinegar
• 2 tsp. sugar
• 1 tsp. chile sauce, such as sriracha
• ¼ tsp. light brown sugar

Toppings and Wraps

• 1 red pepper sliced
• 2 cups bean sprouts
• 1 cucumber, peeled into thin strips
• 1 large carrot, shredded
• Fresh mint, cilantro, and basil
• 18 whole large lettuce leaves
• Add jicama for some crunch effect!
• Serve with lime wedges and sriracha chile sauce.

1. To make Sauce: whisk together all ingredients in small bowl.
2. To make Filling: Pulse tempeh in food processor until coarsely crumbled. Heat oil in skillet over medium heat. Add ginger and garlic, and sauté 1 minute. Add tempeh and broth, cover, and cook 
5 minutes. Uncover, increase heat to medium-high, and cook 10 minutes, or until liquid has evaporated. Stir in remaining ingredients.
3. Mound vegetables, herbs, and tempeh mixture on platter. Let diners fill lettuce leaves with Filling and Toppings.


I changed a few of the toppings from this delish recipe! Vegetarian Times, Thai Lettuce Wraps

Happy Gotcha Day!

Cy at 8:24am on December 9, 2010 we received word that you would be our son. Paperwork stated that you had some medical issues, Atriel Septal Defect to be precise. Our agency advised us to speak with Pediatric Cardiologist to decide if we wanted to proceed.  I remember that day we spoke with two pediatric cardiologist at Children's in Denver, Co and by the afternoon you were ours! First, I want you to know...we spoke with them to learn about ASD but never had a doubt to accept you. I remember seeing your first pictures, in your track suit and soccer outfit...you were a total chunk! Who knew the journey that would ensue afterwards. We were suppose to bring you home August of 2011 and do to political issues within Korea we didn't welcome you home until Friday, April 13th, 2012.  I have to say it has been a journey of a lifetime and has changed your father and I forever.

The wait was the worst. I don't think anyone can truly understand, unless going through it how hard it is was to wait for you. Especially as bringing you home kept getting postponed. August came and went, then Christmas came and went, another New Year...no Cy. Our hearts broke as we struggled and just wanted you home so bad. I remember New Years 2012 your father turning to me saying, "I can't believe he isn't home." To see the pain in your father broke my heart even more. We wanted you in our arms so bad. Mommy struggled a lot. Finally around the end of March 2012 we got the call, your travel had been approved! Your Dad and I left 4 days later for Korea. We laid eyes on you for the first time in Korea at Eastern on April 4th, 2012. Your father and I decided to travel your country to learn about your culture and where you come from so when you ask we can answer. A goal of ours is to be able to take you back to visit if you so wish. On April 13th we hoped a plane to bring you home, back to Colorado.

I know your Foster family loved you very much, and I know it was hard to see them go. They knew that giving you a forever family was what was best for you. But how hard that must have been to understand at such a young age. You and I bonded, You made me cry, and we cried together many times. You made me laugh…a lot, and I realized you’re as goofy as I am, maybe more. You brought out a part of me that I never knew existed. I loved you beyond words, and you began to love and trust me in return. I was learning to be a Mommy, and you, you were learning to be my baby. What was amazing was how alike in the year you have become like your father and I! You have your fathers sense of adventure, climbing up on everything around you. You are VERY dramatic...kind of like your mother. You have are very smart too...that is all your father!

I feel so lucky and thankful EVERY day that you are our son. I can't tell you enough how much I love you! It took me a lot to learn to be your mom. I definitely struggled the first six months, not because I didn't love you...because it was a change. I had to learn to be your mom and the best mom. A lot changed in our lives, so much for the better since you are here. Why was it so hard when you first came home? You grieved so horribly and I couldn't fix it. I have never seen anything like that in my life and all I could do was sit next to you...but I never left your side. You should know by now I like to be in control and fix everything, so it broke my heart that I couldn't fix your pain. You spoke Korean...we spoke English. I am so thankful to Christy and Leslie as without them and their connections to individuals who spoke Korean...I would of had no clue what you needed. You were use to your Foster family; how they lived, sleeping arrangements, etc...we tried to make you change so dramatically to ours way of life. Cy, you are an amazing little boy. You had been through so much and I look at how our family is now and just so happy with how everything is in our life. Every day Boo (Cy's nickname) you grew more and more accepting and trusting of us as your parents. I can't believe it has been a whole year! It is so amazing to see how far you have come from where we started.

HAPPY GOTCHA DAY CYRUS!  We will always celebrate this day as it is the day you came into our lives forever. Your father and I love you so much! You are loved by so many family and friends that we just couldn't be more thankful. I want you to know...you were worth the wait!

Being Mindful

1. Drink green tea.  I can do this.  My goal is one cup/day.
2. Start Reading Labels Lots of our food has chemicals, GMO's, etc. Be mindful, read labels. Educate yourself. My family has been living WHOLE for 5 years now. We are not 100%, but we are conscious and aware every day.
3. Forgive Someone  "studies show that forgiveness can lower blood pressure and heart rate and reduce depression, anxiety, and anger."  I'll buy that.  
4. Have More Sex Okay!
5. Join a CSA What better way to each more vegetables then having them delivered every week. If you don't have room or time for a garden, help you local farmer.
6. 20 Minutes of exercise or more at least 4x a week.
7. Get More Sleep  Following Gwyneth on Dr. Oz I am going to try Magnesium. Let's see.
8. Meditate  My family is looking at Buddhism again. I dable on and off.
9. Portion Size  Be mindful about the portion on your plate.  I could totally be better about this one.  We bought smaller dinner plates!
10. Pack a Smarter Lunch  For me this means, thinking ahead.  This is where I am horrible! Need to be way better!
11. Call an Old Friend  Talking to old friends makes me so happy! The relationships from my past are some of my strongest.
12. Floss!  Enough said. I have a bag on my desk at work. Right in front of me!
13. Practice Saying No  This is hard. I had to do it a lot when I first came home with my son. I had to do it for me. If people get mad at you...they weren't really close to you. Your close friends will always respect.
14. Stretch  Dogs stretch every time they get up! I am bad but will try and be more mindful.
15. Keep Healthy Snacks on Hand I should do much better then I am. It takes planning and thinking.

Fairness and Equality

Life is so difficult all of us struggle each day just to make it. We all need people to love, cherish, inspire and support us. I was adopted into a family that did that for me. Despite our differences in color and sexual preference all of us went on to become healthy, happy loving adults. It is important that ALL of us have families that we are either born into, or that we create that give us the nurturing and strength that we need to make it through the struggles of life. Our time is better spent not in telling others WHO they should love, but rather in supporting the relationships of others. None of us can make it on our own. This is why I support marriage equality. Love who you choose to love. - Michael Franti

I have to say how much this whole struggle for equality blows my mind. Because I seriously do not know what is SO difficult about allowing people rights. I don't understand how people have so much hate and negativity and spread it to their off spring. You can only hope once their kids grow up they make good choices. I am not saying you have to like or love everyone but isn't this world fucked up enough that we could stand to have a little bit more love, patience and tolerance.

Conservatives preach this whole sanctity of marriage which I am sorry is a load of crap! Especially when some of the same preachers have been divorced, cheated, etc.. I heard on NPR on the way to work today that a conservative talking that it is unfair to the child to not be born without the benefit of a mother or father! Hence he meant if two woman had kids or if two men had children. Seriously! Talking about that their is no scientific data on how Gay Marriage effects kids???? Are you kidding me? Read the fucking paper jackass. Watch the news. There are so many unfit heterosexual parents out there and you are telling me that because they are heterosexuals they are above all in rights to have kids, fuck them up because they are a man and a woman! I know a lot of people raised by a single mother with no daddy ever present or visa versa, gay couples and they turn out just fine.

I honestly think that our country is so skewed because of hate. It is so much easier to accept people and just be happy. Certain sector preach marriage is a religious institution and has no place being determined by the government.  However, there are a lot of churches that are accepting of homosexuals...so shouldn't they be able to be married at their church?  Also, if you have been in a committed relationship with someone for 20+ years and they are dying of cancer don't you think you should be allowed to be by their bed side. I just don't understand peoples ignorance. On June 12th, 1967 Loving v. Virginia passed the Supreme Court ALLOWING interracial marriage! 1967! Went to the Supreme Court and had to be decided. This is our fight! This is our generations fight for civil rights! Stand up and fight for Equality!

As I continue to watch the fall out of this debate I sit back with an achy heart to people's perceptions. I can only hope and pray that our generations civil rights movement ends well and gives people basic human rights that everyone deserves! I feel thankful of the state that I live in that they finally passed Civil Unions. I know in my house acceptance, tolerance and love will be taught...no matter the fight, who is President, etc..


Good Read:

My husband and I read this book awhile ago and found it a good read. What we liked about it is that Jesus NEVER taught hate. He taught love and acceptance. WE (meaning humans) taught hate. 



Jesus, The Bile and Homosexuality

Poop in the Toilet

Jeremy and I have started potty training Cy. I swear we love daycare as they have totally helped in this process as they have him try every hour at school. Last weekend was a HUGE success as Cy figured out when to poop in the toilet! He usually will poop a little in his diaper then, run to the toilet but multiple times he went before going in the toilet! So exciting!  I never thought watching your kid poop could be so exciting but it totally is just a blast!

I kind of feel bad as Cy had his first spicy poop experience. He ate some spicy food this weekend and then pooped and the poor kid cried..."mommy butt burns." I felt bad for him but had to laugh and explain spicy food goes in...yummy and comes out painful. To funny.

Not sure how far away we are until never needing a diaper but we are on the path! I can only imagine how much money we will save once he is potty trained!

Next up is buying him underpants so we can tempt him. Thank you Amazon for carrying Thomas and Mickey Mouse Underpants!

Peace and Love from the Potty Train!

Favorites!

As a working mother it can sometimes be a little difficult to cook a healthy meal during the week. There are a few products that I LOVE and I know they are processed, but lets me serious it can be difficult.

Amy's Kitchen Products are my FAVORITE!  This particular soup is my families favorite! It is fast, I know the ingredients and healthy. Before having Cy, I had these grand illusions of how I would cook.  Soon reality kicked in and when you work 7am to 5pm and have a few hours and you don't want to spend your whole evening cooking sometimes you opt for fast and convenient. I am not saying all are perfect...but I can read ingredients.



I love this pizza! You can find it at most natural grocers! Home Run is our families go to. If we are not going to make homemade, we buy this stuff!  We no longer order in. What is great is that you know every ingredient.

Cy You Are Almost 3!

Cy you are almost 3 and what time has gone by since you have come home to us. You have changed, grown and come into your own. I do have to say you crack me up everyday. I started this blog with you in mind and I figured I would chronicle you miles stones for you to look back online.

Favorite Color -> Orange
Favorite Movies -> Dumbo, Ratatouille, Finding Nemo, How to Train Your Dragon, Polar Express
Favorite TV Shows -> Dinosaur Train, Diego, Thomas, Curious George
Favorite Apps -> Lunchbox Monkey, PBS Kids, Trucks, Monster at the end of the Book, Itsy Bitsy
Favorite Food -> Pizza, Soup, Risotto, Manchego, Pasta, Blueberries, Mangoes, Pears and Apples
Favorite Vegetables -> CARROTS, cucumbers, onions, bell peppers -- You love to juice veggies with Mommy and really enjoy drinking our mixtures!

You still don't sleep through the night and mommy and daddy only can count the days until you do. Milk or in Korean "uyu" is still your #1...you LOVE the stuff. If you are not drinking milk it is lemonade or fojiotos. You have a curious mind and love to figure stuff out. Recently you are into riding your Strider bike with your helmet. You love playing with your Brio train track too. You love all Thomas. Mommy and Daddy's friend Erin's son Nick gave you a Thomas flashlight that you really enjoy! That was super nice of Nick to share his toy!

I would say that you have an amazing ear for rhythm, pitch and tone.  Natural ability to keep a beat and follow the music amazes me every time. You LOVE the drums! Friends of ours gave you a drum and you play with it often. Fort Collins Discovery Center has this great music sound room where you play the drums every time we go, needless to say you impress all the workers/volunteers that you can actually play and don't just bang away.  Your musical taste range is abstract as us. Daddy will play anything from White Zombie, Henry Rollins, Irish Music or the Grateful Dead. Mommy has John Butler Trio, Katy Perry, Kanye, Rihanna, Bluegrass, etc. However, your absolute favorite song right now (aside from Christmas music) is Some Nights by Fun. You request it often and I think you are catching on to the lyrics and chime in perfectly! I promise you no matter how much or how little money we have we will always encourage music in your life.

You enjoy reading and being read to. Don't get to excited as you can't read...but you do memorize books surprisingly well and are able to recite.

Favorite Books:

• But No Elephants - Thank you Grandma and Grandpa Nelson
• Circus Ship
• Thomas the Train Picture Book
• The Fire Engine Book

We feel so lucky everyday that you are our son! I believe that everything is meant to be...and you are meant for us. One thing that is still constant is your love of Bear. Bear came with you from Korea and you don't leave home without him.

Peace and Love! Always remember that Mommy and Daddy always love you so much!

PS. Daddy wants me to remember that he loves how you randomly and most importantly at the right time will say, "Thanks Daddy" or "Thanks Mommy"

Be a STAR

I believe we define and shape our children. Now, I am not saying we are 100% responsible as I would like to believe that the Colorado Shooters parents didn't raise a child to kill people.  However, how we speak about things in our home does affect our children. If you spew hate, racist language, intolerance etc...your children are more likely to continue that on in their lives. Children are taught hate. They don't come out of the womb hating. So it is up to us to be the voice to help stop bullying. We can't protect our kids every day but we can educate them and give them good resources.

I had dinner with a friend last night and had to listen to her talk about her son, in elementary school, who is bullied by another kid in the locker room. Her son told her about it and asked for help. It takes a lot to ask for help. It did break my heart to hear though...I get teared up just typing this out. Where does a 8 year old learn to me mean? 

Have you been bullied?

I was bullied when I was in high school. Nothing horrible but I was always teased for my last name, DeBuse, kids would ask if I abused my parents. I remember kids telling me to go back to my own culture, etc... While it didn't define me I do remember it. Bullying has always been around...maybe you were the one doing the bullying...change can start today. I hear from friends and family about their children being bullied and as young as elementary school. It is up to us parents and educators to make a change.  STOP THE HATE.

Personally, I really just don't understand why we have to hate. It is so easy to either not say anything at all or be nice to one another. So it is our responsibility to teach tolerance. Don't be a bully, be a Star...Show Tolerance and Respect

Be the Change you Want to See in The World!

Be a STAR!

The Ally Coalition

There are very few things that I feel very strongly about, however one of the biggest things that I am passionate about is Gay Rights.  As we enter 2013 I am shocked and appalled by the ignorance in our society everyday. As my husband has stated, this is our generations civil rights movement. It is time to be an Ally.

When I was young AIDS was just coming on the scene. I remember (even in elementary school) how the media made us in fear.  I was fortunate enough to be raised by a mother who supports Gay Rights and always taught me that everyone is equal. That even if you don't like someone you treat them with respect. As I grew up I had friends of different backgrounds, religious beliefs and sexual orientation. I never looked at someone as "My gay friend Todd," he was just Todd. Or that is my Jewish friend Kelly, just Kelly.  It truly believe what makes us amazing is our diversity.

After bringing my son home my whole world changed. It was no longer the world that I lived in, it was the world he was going to live in. My husband and I are supporters of the Gay Rights Movement and do our best to donate and make our voice heard as "straight" people who support Gay Rights. I want my son raised in a house that teaches love and equality. To understand that no one is better then the other. This is an every day movement. Take a look around people, kids are killing themselves! Why? Because they are bullied for her they are; gay or straight. It is not the time to be silent...it is the time to stand up and make your voice heard!

Here is the link to The Ally Coalition JOIN TODAY!

So from my family to yours, "Be the Change You Want to See in the World" - Ghandi

Juice Train

I do have to say January hit our house hard with colds and stomach bugs. As we enter February I do feel that it is time to get back on the juice train.

I have an Omega Juicer 8006 and here are some fun recipes to share. Since there is a spinach shortage in the States right now I would definitely sub Kale or Chard.

Here are some of my favorite concoctions!  I don't tell you how many as it is all desired on your own personal taste. You will see that I use similar ingredients in a lot of mine and that is do to funding. Juicing can be expensive, until you can plant your garden. I found sticking to some basics made it affordable.

• Carrots, Beets, Spinach (sub other green), Blueberries, Apple
• Carrots, Beets, Cucumber, Apple
• Carrots, Spinach, Kale, Cucumber, Apple
• Apple, Kale, Cucumber
• Beets, Strawberries, Kale, Carrots
• Cucumbers, Apples, Kale, Celery, Ginger
• Mango, Watermelon, Blueberries (Cy loves this one)
• Tomato, Celery, Spinach (sub other green), Carrots, Garlic, Onion, Lemon and a little hot sauce -- you have yourself a yummy Tomato Juice!

 Please share with me some of your favorite juicing concoctions as I am a HUGE fan of new juices!

Peace and Love and may 2013 bring everyone health, adventure and prosperity!

Hawaii 5.0

I have always thought of Hawaii as a place that I could never afford, a sort of bucket list trip.  Well that was until now. While looking for a family Disneyland trip I got notification of $500 round trip airfare to Honolulu. I freaked out in excitement as I have never seen tickets to Hawaii that low.  We had 2 free tickets waiting to use for our rewards but we had to be under $600, well this justified it!  So Jeremy and I thought about it for a few days (prices slowly creeping up) as we really were not thinking a big vacation since 2012 was so big, but free airline tickets to paradise...yes please!  So we booked them AND we got a SWEET condo, 5th floor, ocean view...and when I mean ocean view...steps away from the beach for $1900 for 10 days! That is like a $190 a night! You seriously can't do any cheaper! Plus the condo has a full kitchen so we can cook.

Here is the bonus, we really wanted to go with family so Irene (my mother) is coming with us. She really hasn't traveled that much and she said this will be her first big flight!  She is retired, what more does she have to do than to travel.  Plus, she is fairly easy travel companion. She drives me a little crazy, but she gets her own room, TV, bathroom and patio area. We are so excited to have her join us.

Some people might think we are crazy traveling with a toddler...but what better place. There is really so much to do! We might miss out on sailing and stuff but really we can do almost everything, we just have to take turns. Our place is so nice that even if Cy got sick...not a bad place to hang out for a few days. Our condo is right next to Disney's new resort too so we get to take advantage of that a little without paying the Disney cost. I was excited as I am really hoping we get in to a character breakfast. We also can walk over and rent their paddle boards (that is really what I want to do the most). We have all the cool places on Oahu written down so that we can keep our options open.  We also found the Costco so we can buy groceries and cook (saving money some more).

Bonus, Jeremy has loved helicopters since he was a little kid. So as we save up money (because that isn't a cheap activity) he is going on a helicopter ride! He is just deciding if he wants open or closed doors. Eeeek! So excited for him!

Hawaii you ask when there are beaches in the US. Well EVERYONE we know and I mean everyone who goes and some are usually not totally sold come back in LOVE! The selling point was a friend of my husband's who stated Hawaii was never on her list of destinations but after coming...she fell in love. That carried a lot of weight. I welcome the history and diversity of the island.  We are actually staying in Kapolei which is about 45 minutes Northwest of Honolulu. I am excited to not be staying in some big high rise building. What is nice about our place is that it is right on beach! So after nap time we are hanging out in the city!

Mahola!

Happy New Year 2013!

This has been the most challenging and amazing year filled with so much love and personal growth! I feel so blessed for having an amazing family, wonderful friends, great job and good health. I told my boss before I left I am not use to having such great things that I feel like I am always waiting for something to happen...and you know what...sometimes life can just be good.

Beginning this year Jeremy and I will start on Sunday, January 6th for out 5 day Clean Cleanse.  What is a Clean Cleanse you ask...well I will tell you! It is a cleanse that lets you eat plenty as long as you forgo processed food, dairy, gluten, refined sugar, caffeine and alcohol. This program is suppose to help you relieve holiday bloat, improve digestion, boost energy and strengthen immune system. 

I started on my Pinterest page a board called Clean Cleanse Recipes. I go by Sarah Nelson or MrsNelly! Find me and follow the yummy recipes!

From our family to yours...I wish you a wonderful, adventurous, safe and healthy 2013 and beyond!