Dopplegangers

We are entering our 2nd month home with Cy and it has been an adventure. I think he has been sick 3 of the 8 weeks and we are coming out of the second illness. This one was pretty rough as we are on day 5 with little to no food, 101 to 102 temperature, no sleep and constant crying and fussiness. However, the little dude was not content being home which I would think most kids would want to be when they are not feeling well.  But when you are still cry for Korea, home is not the best place.  Jeremy and I went through 2 tanks of gas driving around. Finally on Sunday he was cool in the stroller so we took him to the Taste. Probably not the best decision but at least he passed out for 30 minutes or so and was perfectly content just sitting in the stroller as long as it was continually moving. I think we are on the mend but who knows at this point. He did cry for "mommy" which was me this weekend and that made feel good as he identified with me as a source of comfort.  Today as I handed him off to Jeremy for a break I was so thankful to spend time with my Mom. But what was even more wonderful were a few friends who randomly touched base and it was sooo welcomed and loved! Sometimes those closest to you I swear know when you are being kicked and they reach out. Those girls I love to death and made my day.

I look at Jeremy and I a year ago and how our life was at that time. Currently we are Dopplegangers of our old selves. I like our family better now despite how stressful it is at times, because that one smile or laugh can take all the bad away.  Someone recently told me that being a parent is hard. Well no shit. I didn't sign up for a Club Med. I knew it would be hard, it is just a little more difficult when you watch this child cry out for home...and it isn't your home. Or his mother to comfort him and that mother isn't you. It is a source of strength that it takes to hold and comfort him. I prefer the people who ask what has been great and allow me to tell fun stories. I may sound negative but I am in the shit right now so sometimes it takes a good person to make you stop and smell the flowers. We are coming up on our second month and it feels like he has been with us forever.

Here are my funny Dopplegangers:

• If you told me a year ago I would be picking my kids nose I wouldn't have believed you. My sister had to do it for me for the first few days...it made me sick.
• If you told me a year ago that I would go days without a shower and have the same stained clothes on, I wouldn't have believed you.
• If you told me a year ago that feeding my kid CheezIts for breakfast I would do, I wouldn't have believed you.
• If you told me a year ago that I would become a regular at the Starbuck drive thru, I wouldn't have believed you.
• If you would have told me that dirty diapers would be laying around in my house, I wouldn't have believed you...as my house is ALWAYS spotless. :-)
• If you told me a year ago that Jeremy would get grossed out by Cy playing with his food, I wouldn't have believed you. It literally makes him sick.
• If you would have told me a year ago that I notice people going 2 miles over the speed limit, I wouldn't have believed you.
• If you would have told me a typical evening would be us three dancing to Yonder Mountain String band is a typical night, I wouldn't have believed you.
• If you told me a year ago that the tiredness you feel will bring you to the breaking, I wouldn't have believed you.
• If you would have told that 25lbs carrying all day is heavy, I would have said...I am in shape!
• If you told me a year ago that organic diapers SUCK, I wouldn't have believed you. Sorry environment but no leaking wins!
• If you told me that I would be filling my tank up 2 to 3x a week, I wouldn't believe you. (Cy major way to soothe is driving around...sometimes for HOURS! Sorry environment. I hope all those years prior I am allowed a little leverage.
• If you would have told me that my son would be part of my daily poops, I wouldn't have believed you...but now who will flush my toilet!
• If you would have told me that sometimes Jeremy and I will have conversations where each of you sound like you are speaking a different language and then a few looks and grunts later and you get it, I wouldn't have believed you.

I might continue this series down the road as more stuff comes up that blow Jeremy and I away! It is amazing the person you turn into when you have a kid. I admire those who do not trail from their desired path but for me...I am deviating...albeit for a little while and then hopefully get back on the Whole Foods/Whole Living Train! Choo Choo!  I am thankful I have such an awesome husband who is so helpful and supportive. We compliment and pick up where each other leaves off. A strong foundation for a strong relationship.Even though we do argue and have difference of opinions I feel so fortunate everyday he is in my life. At the end of the day I love seeing his face or getting his kiss. These past few months I feel that we have grown closer even though when we do get breaks from Cy...it is never together. Which is really one of the hardest parts.

Peace and Love